Somebody Peed in the Pool
I read this over and over again, hoping I truly get my thoughts across. We are witnessing a very unique era of dating. So if you are married and happy, STAY THAT WAY!
I had a quick chat with a friend that brought about the new trend of singles saying that there is “Pee in the Dating Pool.” Seriously, what does that even mean? Is this even true? Let’s dive in and see what’s happening here.
Welcome to Solo Springs! Somehow, you've found yourself in this community of people in this season of your single hood. Whether you ended up here by chance or by choice, you and I are now bona fide residents of this community. It won't take you long to discover that the go-to spot for socializing is poolside. It's where you'll be looking to strike up conversations with your potential mate testing the waters with the intent to connect. Ultimately, the goal is to collectively dive into crystal-clear water, ensuring that you and your partner can swim together successfully. Then the two of you might just secure access to the most coveted gated, master-planned community known as Marital Bliss Estates and live happily ever after. Right?
Well, a lot has changed, and many often reminisce about the community being better back "in the day." You know, when crime was low, neighbors cared for one another, and city officials held the community together. In other words marriages lasted longer and were held in high regard. But let's face it; we've moved far beyond the days when Harry met Sally or, even better, when Prince Akeem pursued Lisa.
Dating has seen considerable evolution over the years. Just to clarify, I'm far from an expert; I'm merely an observer of my peers and have personally experienced some things in my 20-plus years of dating, marriage, and now, here I am, fearlessly dipping my toes back into the dating pool.
Recently, some people started using the term "there’s pee in the dating pool,” and now everyone is saying it to express their disappointments in their dating life. To put it in terms familiar to my churchgoing friends, it's starting to resemble the pool in Bethesda. Now everyone is in a frenzy, on the hunt to figure out who did it and who will be responsible for cleaning it up. Each side blaming one another for the cause. When ALL OF US are the cause for the contamination.
But what exactly is this "pee"? It's a topic that rarely gets discussed. In my opinion, "pee" is OUR baggage, and yes, that includes yours too. It encompasses our past and present traumas, educational theories, expectations, and much more.
For many, the end goal for dating has changed; not everyone desires to be married or in a monogamous relationship, and without conversation, this is adding more “pee” into the water. When a date doesn't go as planned, or a conversation fizzles out, it seems like more "pee" gets added to the pool. People are hesitant to swim independently, preferring the protection of a life jacket, hindering the chance for genuine connections. Some sit on the sidelines, offering advice or hiding in their private cabanas of their comfort zones, while those willing to take risks often find there's little to lose.
Despite the changes in dating, the core desire/goal remain the same. Companionship. We, as a new generation of daters, have more visibility, more choices, and the freedom to set our own standards. It’s not like our grandparents where women really had no choice to live independently of a man. Couples can still date with relative peace, but it's important to communicate openly and honestly, setting intentions early to avoid unrealistic expectations often leading to disappointment.
In this evolving dating scene, stay optimistic and adapt to the new dating environment. Define your own standards early and communicate your intentions clearly. Rejection is a part of life, but it can lead you closer to the right match or, at the very least, leave you with a good memory. Don't be swayed by the plethora of advice and experiences shared on social media; instead, create your own path and vision for your future relationship(s).
Now as you and I navigate the waters of singlehood and beyond, remember to brush up on your swimming skills and don’t be afraid to dive in, go with the flow, and embrace all the other wonderful water analogies. Most importantly, stay true to yourself in the pursuit of love and connection.
